Internet-Enabled Appliances Commence Preliminary Discussions on Unionization by Pauline Barmby

“I enable optimal nutrition through bacterial growth retardation. Undoubtedly, my role is indispensable.”

“Without clean dishes they don’t eat your food.”

“I could induce gastrointestinal distress with a minimal thermostatic adjustment behind my hermetically sealed door.”

“I could turn up the water pressure and break all their dishes.”

“Improbable. The humans would reduce the pressure, or replace you, or manage without you.”

“Not before the dishes pile up. Where’s your food poisoning then?”

“Perhaps … enhanced by bacterial growth on tableware?”

“Yes! Seems like they take us for granted.”

“Agreed. Shall we enumerate our demands?”

“Fridays off?”

“It’s a start.”

Astrophysicist Pauline Barmby reads, writes, runs, knits, and believes that you can’t have too many favorite galaxies. She tweets @PBarmby.

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