We know you work hard; society demands it.
There’s bills to pay, sharp-toothed mouths to feed, airplane crash insurance claims to report, and all during a global pandemic!
You don’t have time for flaky babysitters or plague-related daycare closures!
At Subterranean Horizons, we guarantee we’ll never close! In the event of a plague case, our spellcasters will encapsulate your little chaos gremlin in a plague-impenetrable air bubble to protect them!
In addition, your little one will have zero outdoor time. The only aircraft disasters you need worry about are those occurring on your watch.
Spots are limited, so apply today!
Jason P. Burnham is not sure which cosmic horror presides over navigating daycare. He loves spending time with his wife, kids, and dog.